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Friday, March 5, 2010


i'm lost, i'm confused, i'm tired
i feel lyk i cant go on anymore.
i dun wanna continue.
i cant think, i cant decide.
CAN U STOP FORCING ME TO CHOOSE?!?!
u claim its my benefit, but is forcing me to give up everything, my time, my frens, my life, my studies, everything juz to go for competition?!?!
u ppl say its for my own gd, in fact, its not.
i am damn stressed.
i dunno wat to do i dunno where to start
my life is in a wreck!
i somehow wish tat i could juz drop dead and end everything.
i am confused, i cant think straight and yet the freaking bm is making me decide upteen things. i cant even think, let alone decide.
I NID A BREAK. i am tired. i am not a machine tat can work 24/7 and still continue.
and even machines work on battery and electricity. i can even eat and slp properly now.
i even fell asleep during bio lesson ytd while i was having the freaking test, and i cant believe i even passed.
i practically spent 15-20 mins on it and slept throughout the rest of the time, and only woke up when delia went round collecting the scripts.
wat shld i do and where shld i start?
how can i even make decisions?
and threatening does not work on me. it juz pisses me off even more and i do things u will nvr expect. i can give up everything rite this instant. i dun care about competition anymore, i dun care about the carnival anymore, i dun care about canoeing anymore.
i can no longer take it and since u ppl wont gimme a break, i will give myself a break. i am practically breaking down every single day so i dun give a damn anymore.
i cant stand ur attitude. the way u think trng is above everything else.
u wanna do this, then i will. and i can.

~ { 10:34 PM }
reflections of my life;